Illusions and Realities

Part One - Perceptions

Chapter 29

The light was fading when Avon returned to the camp. He was soaked through, hair dripping wet and shivering in the cold. Looking down Soolin saw that his hands were covered in scratches, and they, and the bruise and gash on his forehead, suggested he had covered some rough ground.

He took the meal she offered him and ate it in silence before settling down with some of the dead man’s technical supplies equipment. All the signs were that he intended to bury himself in some unspecified technical problem and had no intention of telling her anything. Finally Soolin was driven to ask.
“Well Avon?”
His eyes met hers and she felt a moments’ compassion seeing the fatigue he was trying to ignore; but she had to know what, if anything, he had found.
“Was it worth the effort?” she demanded.
He shrugged and turned back to his tools as he answered her, not that he said much. He told her of the standoff in the trees in as few words as possible, then lapsed back into silence. Soolin’s heart sank as she listened, to be so close and yet so far. How much longer could this go on, how many more times could he dodge them? Perhaps often enough to get them both killed. She decided to try one more time to persuade him to give it up, it cost a lot of effort to keep her voice expressionless but she managed it,
“Is it worth it? If we run into them the chances of us surviving the encounter can’t be good. Even if they are not working for Servalan they don't sound like the sort of people who wait around for explanations. So they didn’t spot you this time, but next time who knows? Even supposing we avoid them, manage to get hold of some transport and find a way off this planet, where are we going to go?”

He looked up at her a shade of curiosity in his face,
“Where do you want to go to?”
Soolin shook her head,
“What I want doesn’t really matter does it? Where is there left to run to? Xenon is gone; we destroyed it remember? Out there, " she nodded towards the stars, "all there is an expanding Federation and a lot of people who would like us dead. What choice is there? If you take up Servalan’s offer we stay alive, and there may come a better time, one when we will have the chance to escape to a safe place. Maybe to even the score with her before we go. Revenge is no less satisfying for being delayed I promise you. But for now isn’t what she’s offering better than the alternatives?”

For a moment he looked at her, an expression that she couldn’t decipher shadowing his eyes, brown eyes that suddenly deepened to black as he smiled slightly before turning away and back to the components strewn around him,
“Perhaps”, his tone was noncommittal.
She kept hers the same,
“Then why not go back? While we still have the strength and the supplies to make it. That or hand ourselves over to one Servalan’s search squads. She wants you alive, she isn’t going to harm you, and I’ll take the risk as long as you don’t leave me.”
He turned back towards her.
“No,” his voice was soft, almost gentle, but the finality was unmistakable.
She sighed and dropped her voice a little, but not her eyes, they stayed fixed on his bent head,
“I have stood beside you in some very tight spots Avon," she said quietly, "I’ve fought to the bitter end, but I’m tired and this time I can’t see any other way out for us.”

He didn’t move, just sat staring at her for a moment longer before turning to look into the deepening darkness beyond the fire. Despite the flickering firelight his face was in shadow and she had nothing to tell her what he might be thinking. The silence hung between them, stretching until she couldn’t bear it any longer, her own anxiety driving her to try again to convince him. With a supreme effort she kept her voice cool and calm,
“The others are dead, we can’t change that, but we can survive. What is there left to fight her for? They are all gone Avon, all of them. Blake, Vila, Cally, Dayna, Tarrant, Jenna. You know that. You and I are all that is left. We have to do the best for ourselves that we can. You can buy both of us time, time to explore our options.”

Avon shifted slightly and suddenly the firelight licked his face, the shadows there seemed to deepen as she listed them all and his eyes narrowed in something close to pain. She felt a moments’ compunction seeing that expression, then she reminded herself that she was probably fighting for her life, took a deep breath and let a chill enter her voice,
“If you don’t think you deserve that, well fine, but don’t you think that perhaps I do? I warned you against coming here, but I came with you anyway. Don’t you think you owe me something?”
Dropping her eyes she looked sideways at him through her lashes and for a moment she thought the pain in his face seemed to deepen. Still he didn’t move. Then suddenly he turned his face away from her, back into the shadows, and ran his hands across his damp hair. His body slumped as he sank his head into his hands, his elbows propped on his thighs.

Now he looked truly exhausted, close to the end, all purpose gone. For a moment he said nothing then he raised his head again and spoke, his voice faint and tired as if he were speaking to himself.
“Yes they are all gone.”
This time the bitterness couldn’t be hidden, and Soolin gritted her teeth against the impulse to console him; instead she relaxed, letting her gaze drift to the fire. This sudden collapse into apparent exhaustion and despair seemed to signal the first real change in his mood. In fact it was the first sign of any significant emotion she had seen in him since Blake's death. Beneath that calm, cold exterior matters were starting to come to a head for him, finally the pain and guilt were eating through the steel cords of his control. It had to happen of course, and it should have happened long before now; she just wished it wasn’t happening here. But once the despair and guilt took hold it should be easier to persuade him, perhaps then he would return to the base while they could still salvage the situation.

She got up and moved closer to him, maybe he would accept comforting now, allow her to build some bridge of understanding between them before they returned.

He sat, head turned slightly away from her, as she settled herself down beside him; not close enough to invade his space and risk triggering those formidable defenses, but near enough to be able to reach out and touch him. Slowly she stretched out her hand towards his arm, lost in some dark world of his own he didn’t seem to notice her. Her fingers closed gently around his forearm, she could feel the muscles bunched and unyielding even through the damp fabric of his jacket. For a moment she sat like that, saying nothing, her thumb gently massaging the flesh beneath the layers of clothing. Still he gave no sign that he was aware of her. Around him the tools lay like discarded toys, like her a part of a reality he seemed to have left behind.

Soolin waited in silence for a moment, then she ventured a soft,
“Avon?”
She saw the faint frown come into his eyes again, she tightened her grip on his arm and repeated his name. Still there was no response, he sat like a statue, eyes unfocussed, looking out beyond the camp to something she couldn’t see. Then, without any warning, he moved, his hand shooting up to grasp her wrist, his grip so fierce that it hurt.

“How do you know that?”
His voice was icy and hard, all the hesitation of a moment ago gone as if it had never been.
“Know what?”, now she was confused again.
“That Jenna is dead.”
For a moment she just stared at him before trying to pull her arm away, matching her tone to his,
“Blake said so, she died running the blockade.”
“Yes I know that.”
His voice had taken on an urgent edge and his grip on her wrist was so violent that she could feel the bruises forming. He was looking at her now, his eyes black holes in the pale, fire lit face,
“The question is how do I know it, how do you? He didn’t tell us when we met in the tracking gallery, so how do we know?”

Avon saw her eyes widen in surprise,
“Tarrant had spoken to Blake, he must have told us.”
He could hear the uncertainty in her voice and pounced on it,
“Yes but when did he tell us? Not when we found him, just before,” he hesitated for only a fraction of a second, “I shot Blake. So when did he tell us?”
She just looked at him in confusion.

He let go of her wrist and got to his feet.
“ I know that Jenna died running the blockade but I can’t remember being told. I know that Blake told Tarrant but I don’t know how I know that,” he looked at her his eyes unreadable in the dim light, “ and nor do you. I might have buried the memory but why would you? Given that you never met Jenna the news of her death would be meaningless to you. Nor can I see how Tarrant could have had the opportunity to tell us unless…” his voice trailed off and a startled look came into his face.

Soolin held her breath what had occurred to him now?
“Unless what?”
He turned to her and smiled suddenly. The smile intensified and for a second his eyes blazed into life before he turned away from her,
“Unless he told us after I shot Blake.”
“But how? They are dead, all of them.”
“Are they?”
He moved to the edge of the firelight and stood staring out. The snow was beginning to fall again, large, cold, flakes that drifted soundlessly to the ground blurring the outline of the trees. Avon seemed oblivious to it, lost in a train of thought she didn’t want to follow.

The words came slowly
“I thought you were dead too but you are not, you thought the same about me. Maybe they are not dead either.”
“What!” she almost shouted at him.
He turned towards her again but the blood freezing smile had faded to be replaced by a calculating look that was equally intimidating,
“Servalan, where she is involved nothing is necessarily what it seems, maybe she is playing games with us.”
“But why, what can she hope to get out of it?”
“With Servalan you can never be sure of anything, other than that she expects to get something out of it. ” He sounded almost amused.

“You think they are alive?”
Soolin’s voice was calm, almost flat, but the edges were frayed with uncertainty and Avon thought he could detect a note of concern under the even inflexion. Looking at her closely he could see the tension in her neck and shoulders even in the uncertain light of the fire. He smiled to himself; no doubt she found the idea of the march back to the base unappealing.
But would he go back he wondered? Or would he simply accept Servalan’s statement of the death of Tarrant and Vila at face value, despite all the inconsistencies he could see and the deep unease that was continually whispering on the edges of his consciousness. What could she expect to gain from concealing it after all? Would he follow Soolin's unspoken inclination and simply take what certainly appeared to be the easier way? Dayna was dead, he had no doubt that Arlen’s gun had been set at a lethal level, the death of the other man bore that out. But if he accepted that Servalan had lied again just how much else did he need to re-evaluate? Was he to assume that none of them had died? That, for some perverted reason of her own, Servalan had concealed the fact?

No, Dayna was dead, and Blake; but maybe Vila and Tarrant had survived.

He turned his attention back to Soolin and he thought he saw her shudder; maybe she feared meeting them again, feared the questions about that dropped gun, about Arlen and the death of Dayna. Suddenly he remembered those first days after Dorian’s demise and her statement that she had not given her allegiance merely sold her skills, maybe she was afraid that they would ask about why those skills had failed them when they were really needed. Or about who was paying her now? Looking at her tired face, the strain showing clearly, Avon doubted that anyone was paying her now.

Not that she had ever been paid by him of course, nor had she ever asked for any payment that he could remember. Strange, now that he came to think about it. Then again she had had nowhere else to go, nowhere else she wanted to go. Another similarity she and he had shared. Avon looked at her white face, no doubt of it she was worried about meeting the others again; she didn’t realise that their condemnation would be reserved for him, the one who had destroyed Xenon and brought them here in pursuit of a ghost.
“Possibly,” he offered nothing more.

Soolin watched him without speaking; he appeared to be lost in thought. Finally she turned away,
“If they are alive then they are still on the base, and we have to go back for them.”
Avon looked across at her but his face was shuttered giving no indication of what he was thinking,
“Maybe,” his voice was as unreadable as his face.
“Avon with you gone, she might decide to cut her losses and kill them!”
The cold smile returned,

“She might have done that already. Though I think probably not. Both Tarrant and Vila could be useful to her. Whatever she was going to do with them the probability is that she has already done it.” He looked away, scanning the dark trees and the shadowed snow beyond the light of the fire. “Whatever the situation there is no point in a last minute rescue until we can be sure of pulling it off and getting out alive; or until we have somewhere to take the rescued to.”
He shrugged slightly,
“And that means we need transport and a workable plan of action. Which requires us to know a little more about what is going on here, or rather what was going on here.”
Soolin seemed to freeze where she sat and the eyes that locked on Avon’s face were narrowed in concentration, suddenly Avon found himself looking at the gunfighter again.
“Going on? What do you mean by that?” her voice was sharp and charged with an undercurrent of challenge.

“Well now the whole set up was a little odd don’t you think?”
In contrast to her sudden alertness his voice was soft, almost dreamy.
“In what way?” she demanded.
“In every way.” He continued to look at her blandly, head slightly inclined, one hand massaging the other as he concentrated.
"Specify." She was still impatient.
He smiled slightly,
“Very well, let's start with those gun ships, the ones that shot us down so very effectively. Those very unusual ships that Orac didn’t warn us about, that Slave didn’t tell us about until they opened fire, the ones that didn’t show on the detectors, long or short range. The ones we didn't see. Why were they here? And why so many of them?”
“Presumably part of bringing the planet back to normal status,” she sounded unconvinced.
“Presumably," he agreed pleasantly, "but why? Why a blockade of gun ships?”
“Maybe they were after the gun runners.”
Avon looked at her sharply aware that something she had just said was important, but not sure what,
“Possibly, but if that was the case why didn’t they challenge us before opening fire? Why not attempt a boarding?”

Soolin shrugged.
“So perhaps they had identified us, knew that it was Scorpio.”
Avon continued to look at her for a long moment and she waited for that laser bright smile to appear, the one she hated so much. But it didn’t come, instead he just nodded slightly, his face calm,
“Very well let us leave the gun ships for the moment. Let us move on Tarrant and how he got to Blake’s base from the wreck of Scorpio.”
Now she could just make out a searching look in his eyes as he continued to watch her. This time she didn’t let him hurry her into speech but thought for a moment before answering.
“Presumably someone took him there, we both think it was Blake, that Tarrant told us it was Blake but we don’t remember when he told us.”
Avon nodded,
“Where you surprised when you first saw him there?” he asked.
“I’m not sure, I think I was just relieved to see him after what you had told us about having to leave him behind on Scorpio.”

Avon watched her without expression for a heartbeat or two then his gaze drifted away to some point past her,
“Yes, I remember that I was glad he had survived. Glad but not surprised, either at him being alive or at him being there. I find that rather disconcerting.”
“Why?”
“It would seem to imply that I knew something that made his survival and presence explicable, but that
now I cannot remember what it was.”
“More of those shadowy half memories,” Soolin groaned.
A faint smile flashed briefly across his face
“Exactly”.

He paused for a moment as if composing himself,
“And that brings us to Blake himself. How did he get here and when? Gauda Prime is half a galaxy away from where we evacuated Liberator; without a ship or resources how did he manage to get here at all, let alone in time to become the bounty hunter? Moving around the galaxy is not easy for anyone without a fast, well armed ship, but for a fugitive like Blake it would be harder still. Even if he made it here it would have taken time to establish that base, to set up the persona of the bounty hunter well enough to be able to stay when the reclamation of the planet began. And why would he do it in that way? What was he doing here? What did he mean by having set all this up? What was it Tarrant didn’t understand?”
The hated smile flashed again bright but brief, unsettling in the shadows of the camp,
“So many questions and so few answers; and I don’t like a mystery and certainly not a mystery that threatens to kill me.”

Soolin sighed in exasperation,
“It could have been anything. From what you and Vila told me Blake was given to playing games and not always good a explaining himself.”
That over bright smile flashed again,
“On the contrary he was very good at explaining himself, just very bad at telling you what he was doing, so I suppose that much shouldn’t surprise us.”
“So was he betraying you? That is the important question isn’t it? I know we said he didn’t know we were coming, but maybe we are wrong about that, maybe the gun ships did identify us, or maybe Tarrant told him you were on your way. That might have given him the time to call the Federation.”
The smiled died as suddenly as it had dawned.
“Perhaps.” There was a sigh in his voice.
She looked at him in shock,
“Avon you blasted the man
three times at short range because you thought he was betraying you! Now the only answer you can come up with is perhaps? What has changed?”

She felt him withdraw from her, his expression becoming cold and almost hostile.
“Too many unanswered questions.”
“Such as?”
“The troopers,” the words were sharp and clipped.
“Surely they only prove he was betraying us?”
“No. If anything they suggest the contrary, after all if he had been selling us out and knew that the troopers were on the base he had no need to confront me at all. He had only to get us into the base and then let them find us. He didn’t need to risk seeing u;, Blake could be foolhardy but he wasn’t entirely stupid, at least he hadn’t used to be.”
Avon frowned slightly
“I will grant you that his behavior on our last meeting would not have borne that out however.”
“And the woman Arlen?”
“I would seem that Blake and the man who came after him didn’t know about her. If that is the case, and why would they pretend if they were all part of the same plan?, then there are some very strange aspects to the events. Not least of which is how the troopers got in unseen and why Orac didn’t detect them.”

Soolin looked at him uncertainly,
“Would Orac have known about them?”
Avon stared at her for a moment without expression, then he spoke quickly, suddenly impatient,
“Unless there has been a major shift in Federation technology, one that has been developed and implemented and deployed widely throughout space command in complete secrecy in the last couple of months, then the answer has to be yes. Orac would have picked up the signs of their presence, or possible presence well before we arrived here. As it was it seems that there was no indication either before we arrived at Gauda Prime, or while we were traveling to Blake’s base, of a large Federation presence; or even the possibility of one being in the vicinity.”
“Is there any reason why Orac would have missed them?”
“No. Though there is the possibility that they had been infiltrating the base slowly over a long period of time, and so were already there.”

“Maybe Blake knew, maybe he had sold out, was going to collect on you after all.”
Avon seemed to consider that for a moment; then he shook his head.
“That doesn’t explain the woman Arlen’s actions, or why they were in Federation uniform.”
“Does that need explaining?”
“Oh I think so. If Blake had been in on it then she would have shot me, or at least declared herself, as soon as I threatened Blake. In fact I am not sure why she didn’t do that any way, she could have prevented me killing him and taken both of us alive. As for the troopers, if they had infiltrated Blake’s base over time then they would not have been in uniform; even if they were there with Blake’s approval I can’t see the value of him playing the bounty hunter in a base full of obviously Federation troopers. Can you?”
“No I suppose not.”
“But if they were not already on the base, if they arrived when those alarms started, then why didn’t we see them as we approached?”

“Perhaps they came in from behind the base,” Soolin looked around her and shuddered, “not the best of terrain I admit, but not impossible.”
Avon considered that for a moment,
“Perhaps. Unlikely, but a possibility I will allow. However that doesn’t explain why Orac didn’t know of their presence in the vicinity, why our flyers heat detectors didn't show them or why we didn’t hear them until they arrived in the tracking gallery.”
“Hear them?”
“Yes. Even total surprise only lasts a short while. A base like that can’t be overrun in silence. There must have been some defense, so there should have been shots, explosions possibly, shouting. Did you hear any of that?”
“No,” she admitted reluctantly.
Avon wondered fleetingly why she looked so shocked; surely she had been over this same ground in her own mind? Had her instincts deserted her so completely?
“So how did they get from the wherever they entered the base to the tracking gallery without making any sound?” he prompted.
Soolin shrugged the stunned look fading a little,
“Pass,” was all she could come up with.
He turned to look out into the darkness again,
“No, betrayal by Blake makes no logical sense, but even without it there are far too many unanswered questions for comfort. Not least our own actions.”

***

The base clock had clicked past midnight; though Terran time didn’t fit entirely seamlessly into the longer sun cycle of Gauda Prime Servalan had still insisted on using it. Probably to demonstrate that she was the paymaster for this enterprise rather than any need of her own body clock, Servalan didn’t seem to notice hours. Most of the others did however and at this time the base was quiet and as still as it ever was.

The woman known as Jocasta, like Servalan, didn’t seem to notice time and at present she was making full use of the ability to suborn her biology to her will. No report, no rumour, no gossip, was allowed to escape her attention; and there were plenty of all three to be screened. It wasn’t beyond recovery yet but there was no denying that things had gone wrong, badly wrong. Unlike Servalan however Jocasta felt no need to look for a scapegoat; she had been playing such games for a long time and was only too aware of how easily things unforeseen things could happen, despite the most meticulous planning.

It would have helped if her search squads weren’t so handicapped but with the shield in place their options were limited. Even so the reports from the field were disappointing, some might say depressing; some but not her, she didn’t allow herself that degree of involvement. It would be unfortunate if they had lost him, but not disastrous, at least not until Servalan got her hands on him again. Somehow Jocasta didn’t think that was likely to happen soon.

But it would be sensible to take some extra precautions, particularly now that the second Federation presence had arrived in the plantations. She had no formal knowledge of who they were but it didn’t take much for an informed guess; Servalan had her enemies, and they would be growing bolder by the day realising that her need restricted her options for seeking them out and destroying them.

But the more Federation personnel there were, the greater the chance that they would be the ones to find him; and she didn’t think she could allow that. So, time for a little help from home. It was a risk, a big one, after all they might still be seen, but one worth running; a single orbit should find him and then minutes to pick him up.

Of course there was also a chance that he might decide to make a fight of it. His mental state must be shifting by now and it would become harder to predict his behavior. She made a note to check with Chalco about his likely drug status, they must be getting close to the end. It would help if she could be sure what Soolin would do, but that aspect of the situation was so far beyond the intended parameters of the situation that any thing could only be speculation; even so she made another mental note to check the relevant files.

Servalan might yet be a problem of course, but they had planned for that; it was probably time to review those plans too. She would need to speak with Carson before Servalan arrived; she made another note. For the moment there was little else that she could do, though a conference before Servalan returned would be useful; she would have to make sure she wasn’t missed but there were ways of taking care of that, another job for Carson.

For the moment there was little else she could do except revisit their plans in light of recent events, but if she was to make accurate predictions then she needed to refresh her knowledge of the major players. Jocasta pulled Soolin’s file towards her and settled down to a little revision